Palin’s Opening Acts

The GOP wrapped up last night with a speech from the guy that introduced us to Gov. Sarah Palin.

First, whose brilliant idea was it to use someone’s screensaver as the backdrop for the convention? I was just waiting for flying toasters to appear behind John McCain. Come on, GOP! We could have done more than browse Google Images.

The convention was all about Palin. The media is all about Palin. The Late Night jokes are all about Palin. All in all, that’s not a bad thing. The more Palin withstands the barrage of hit pieces, the more credible her nicknames of “Barracuda” and “Pitbull” become.

Her speech was outstanding, as you have read from other blogs and pundits. Her opening acts were also great, so they get the spotlight in this post.

Everyone knows the story of John McCain’s captivity in Vietnam, but not everyone could connect with it or grasp it on an emotional level. Fred Thompson brought McCain’s story to the American public in a way that helped them truly understand the candidate’s ordeal of torture and imprisonment. Thompson made us look deeper, past the old black and white footage of McCain that we are used to seeing in the ads. We saw the McCain that was vulnerable and human, and whose character was formed the hard way. Critics have accused McCain of overusing his POW story, but Thompson reminded us why the story should never be forgotten. “John McCain’s bones may have been broken but his spirit never was,” Thompson said. McCain’s story isn’t meant for us to feel sorry for him, it is meant for us to remember the resilience and fighting spirit that this country has often relied on. It is the absence of that spirit which makes us tempted by the empty promises and false hope of big government.

Only Thompson could effectively communicate the deeper meaning of John McCain’s story. His deep voice, highlighted by his calming southern accent, made Mccain’s story more personal and much more familiar. It wasn’t a speech, but a story that your grandpa would tell you in the living room. His delivery was humble and sincere, not at all pompous like a regular politician delivers an oration. Thompson made it work because he didn’t look like he was working at all; he was just a guy telling a story about his friend.

Mike Huckabee’s speech was extremely impressive, but that shouldn’t surprise anyone that watched him during the primary. Huckabee combined humor and solemnity to remind us of the inadequacies of Barack Obama, and the importance of personal sacrifice and hard work. Huckabee can turn an everyday story into something compelling and epic, which is exactly what he did in his story about Arkansas teacher Martha Cothren and the missing school desks. Huckabee’s speaking style keeps it simple, which is why his speeches are enjoyable. He doesn’t have to mask the principles of freedom and limited government behind drawn out analogies or fist-pounding rhetoric. He just puts it out there, plain and simple, and bashes Madonna along the way.

Giuliani’s speech was scattered, but it worked for him. He’s the mean New Yorker that wasn’t afraid to stand up to the mafia, so mocking Obama’s community organizing was probably just a small pinch in the arm in comparison. From Giuliani’s point of view, Obama should be man enough to take a little mockery. The most important point that the mayor brought up was the Democrat’s marginalization of radical Islam. Giuliani said, “For four days in Denver, the Democrats were afraid to use the words ‘Islamic terrorism.’”

Giuliani has a very conversational, open-mic night speaking style. He seems to prefer going off script and engaging the audience directly. When the delegates chanted, “Drill, baby, drill,” he went along with it and encouraged the audience further. One wonders how a President Giuliani’s inaugural address would go. Perhaps he would throw in a hasty but effective impersonation of Ahmadinejad.

Mitt Romney’s speech was bad. It probably wouldn’t have hurt to play a commercial during it. He made excellent points about the superiority of conservatism over modern liberalism, but they were all over the place. The lack of organization and poor delivery wasted an important opportunity to attract more followers to the Reagan Revolution. Every other line of the speech was a bumper sticker slogan that distracted from the more important points about conservatism.

The main reason Romney’s speech was ineffective is that it lacked a unifying theme that the speeches of Thompson and Huckabee had. Thompson’s was about character, Huckabee’s was about sacrifice, but Romney’s was a mishmash of salient but directionless talking points. Had it been reviewed as an essay by an English teacher, Romney’s speech would be described as “thesisless.” Thompson and Huckabee made a case for conservatism by making sure each point and each anecdote had a purpose. Romney seemed to be engaging in a stream of consciousness, reciting whatever thoughts of conservatism that came to mind.

Despite his performance, Romney still deserves his picture in this post.

If it makes Mitt feel better, Linsdey Graham (who opened for John McCain) was worse. To quote the greatest television show of all time, Graham stank so much that “somebody should wave a skunk in front of him.”

I close with my favorite lines from the GOP convention:

Gov. Sarah Palin: I might add that in small towns, we don’t quite know what to make of a candidate who lavishes praise on working people when they are listening, and then talks about how bitterly they cling to their religion and guns when those people aren’t listening.

We tend to prefer candidates who don’t talk about us one way in Scranton and another way in San Francisco.

Sen. Fred Thompson: They say they are not going to take any water out of your side of the bucket, just the ”other” side of the bucket! That’s their idea of tax reform.

Gov. Mike Huckabee: Most of us can lift our arms high in the air to signify that we want something. His arms can’t even lift to shoulder level, a constant reminder that his life is marked not by what he wants to receive, but by what he’s already given.

Mayor Rudy Giuliani: One final point. And how — how dare they question whether Sarah Palin has enough time to spend with her children and be vice president. How dare they do that.

When do they ever ask a man that question? When?

Photos Courtesy of Time Magazine